Year after year you find yourself getting excited for a brand new year; a fresh start. This year, you’re going to reach your goals. You’re going to become the person you want to and know you can be!
And then something happens.
You’re not making as much progress as you’d like, and you start doubting yourself. Day by day, week by week, month by month, you start feeling your motivation slip through your fingers. Maybe you weren’t meant for this lifestyle after all.
This is the story for a good majority of people who find themselves giving up on their New Years’ Resolutions, only to try again next year, and again the year after that.
The problem? Your negative mindset.
The solution? Overcoming your negative mindset.
Here are seven ways you can overcome the negative mindset that is holding you back from reaching every single one of your goals – because you deserve it:
1. Forgive Yourself:
It’s normal to want to be perfect; to be the perfect mom/dad, friend, wife/husband, etc. But the truth is – human beings weren’t meant to be perfect. We are flawed, we have imperfections, and that’s okay! Instead of dwelling on mistakes that have passed, focus on how you can learn from them and move on. You’re a better person because of those mistakes; they make you who you are.
2. Acknowledge Your Insecurities:
Before you can change your mindset, you have to be honest with yourself. How often do you criticize yourself? Every time you see your reflection in the mirror? Every time you misspeak? What are you insecure of, your weight? Height? Hair? Clothes? Intellect? Instead of criticizing the things you don’t like, find a way to work on them and transform them into things you love.
3. Replace Negative Dialogue with Positive Affirmations:
How do you speak to yourself vs a loved one? Do you remind your children how beautiful/handsome, smart, funny, etc. they are? Do you make sure your friends know how amazing they are when they’re feeling down? Why can you do that for other people, but not for yourself? Be kind to yourself. Speak kindly and highly of yourself, and constantly remind yourself of the things you love about YOU.
This article has a lists 101 positive affirmations you can start using today.
4. Stop Playing the Comparison Game:
We all do this; compare someone else’s traits and lifestyle to our own. Who has more money, who has the “better relationship”, who has more friends, who is funnier, who is wittier, the list goes on (these are just a few that I’ve caught myself wondering recently). This will only leave you envious and unsatisfied. No single human is meant to be the same as someone else. Those pictures you see on social media? Those are snippets in time; there is no way to know what goes on behind closed doors. Focus on you, your life, your relationships, and how you can make them stronger and better.
5. Don’t Assume the Worst:
If you’re the kind of pessimistic person who only focuses on what could go wrong, you might be setting yourself up for failure. Same with expecting the best to happen. Instead, understand that whatever happens, happens. Just like it’s okay to be excited for the future, it’s okay to fear the future, but don’t let it hold you back from doing the things you want to do. After all, is failure really failure if it eventually turns into success?
Take this quiz to find out if you’re a pessimist or an optimist, and learn about the pros and cons of either. (If you’re anything like me, you love taking little personality tests and learning about yourself! FYI – I am a total optimist, almost to a fault).
6. Don’t Victimize Yourself:
A bit of tough love for you, but you NEED to stop feeling bad for yourself. Everyone has experience pain and/or loss in their lifetime. It may not be at the same level as your experience, but it doesn’t make their experience any less of a hardship than yours. Use your past events to learn, grow, and guide your beliefs. Something happened to you; what are you going to do about it?
7. Practice Gratitude Everyday:
What are you grateful for in your life? What do you appreciate most? Is it your significant other, your kids, having a roof over your head, having food to eat, having people who care about you, having a pet who adores you? Remind yourself of what you’re grateful for every day, because if you don’t, their value to you diminishes and you become entitled. Stay grounded, friends. It’s important.